I Before We and Drunk Cooking

So two things came to mind today while we wait for this horrible, horrible college basketball off season to end. The first is a question that comes up again and again on the blog and our Twitter Feed:

Why do you use the term "we" all the time? Isn't it just you writing? Are you schizophrenic?

Well, no. We think. Actually it goes like this; Yes, I (Gabby) write about 95% of the stuff on the Blog and Twitter. But I have friends who help me. So if I am using the term "we" that means that whatever it is that I am saying was a collaborative thought or expression. If I am using the word "I" that means it was solely me who came up with whatever crap that I am spewing.

The second thing was an overdue introduction to our audience on someone who we have been watching and laughing ourselves silly over:

This is Hannah Hart, proprietor of My Drunk Kitchen. She adeptly combines two things I love to do, cooking and drankin' to hilarious effect. Before Baby M2M was born I use to do this a lot. But Baby M2M does not allow me the quiet time necessary to nurse a hangover so I stopped. Plus Mrs. M2M says that it would be good for my health to stop too. But Hannah has taken up the slack for me. So check her out, citizens. You'll be glad you did.

Also, I do have to say that since I stopped drankin' and cooking my meals have been a whole lot more tasty. I guess that is another benefit of sorts.

Carry on.

We really really really want...

...to see the St. Mary's / Gonzaga game. The Bulldogs must win in order to stay in the March Madness discussion. But there is no way we can survive that 11 pm start time with everything that goes on around here:



Let us know what happened tomorrow.

We were born travelin' men

We will be in Las Vegas the weekend of the NCAA Tournament Selection announcement (Sunday, March 14th for those in the know). Our lil' sis-in-law is turning 21 but that was just the excuse to do this (bwahahaha). We will also have new app toys that will allow us to do mobile postings. Yes, us drunk at casino sports books posting about college b-ball. You say it is against the law to bring cellular phones inside sports books? Just let them try to stop us. We can break those cuffs.

So hope you'll join us. You never know what will happen when we are in Sin City.

Drunken post

Yeah, we've had a few cocktails watching our second love and the Sugar Bowl where Utah wiped the floor up with Alabama.

Conference root. WOOT!

MWC SPEED!

But the main reason for this post is to say once again that Cort over at The Bracket Board is a genius and we go to his blog whenever we need some analysis for the layman. Just because we don't do that here. We shamelessly and unabashedly poke good natured fun at college hoops with an occasional serious post here and there. So go, citizens. Do your duty.

Finally, we'll be traveling this weekend and may catch a game here and there but probably will be unable to post about it. We should be back to our weekend posting schedule next week. Did you know we also write a college basketball column of sorts for Sports Illustrated called the Reporters' Notebook? You did? Sorry, we can be a bit whorish about that.

Happy Friday and happy weekend everyone.

You've come a long way, baby

So by now everyone has heard that Syracuse's Eric Devendorf will be readmitted to the team on January. That is in essence a two game suspension, really. That is what he got for popping some chick in the mouth.

Some of you were outraged that coach Jim Boeheim felt Devendorf shouldn't of been suspended at all. Fuck her, ya know. But our favorite has been the reaction on the internets...



Yeah. Ridiculous. About as ridiculous as you having the nerve to demand some sort of justice be done if say Mike Tyson came up to you and bust you in the mouth.

Anyways, next up Valparaiso's Logan Jones has been spared from the bloodbath when the Crusaders face North Carolina this Saturday. He was found in his car, drunk and contemplating Tyler Hansbrough when police showed up and arrested him.

Because he broke the team rule of underage drinking, he was suspended and will not suit up for the contest against the Tar Heels. Lucky him.

Semi Pro

Breaking News: March to Madness sells out!

Well, kind of. Starting the middle of November we will also be writing daily college b-ball missives for Sports Illustrated, along side the likes of Luke Winn and Seth Davis. More to come. By the way, we're also available for weddings and bar mitzvahs.

So, any hoops news today? Yeah, there's some. Like recent University of Northern Iowa recruit Brian Conway getting off on the good foot in life by mugging some guy and firing slugs at God to show that he was serious.

According to court records, Conway showed a handgun and demanded the male victim provide his ATM card and pin. In doing so, Conway put the man in a headlock and dragged him toward the ATM.

Once the male victim said he couldn’t locate his card, Conway fired a shot into the air.

(Conway) was charged with armed robbery Wednesday and was being held on $100,000 bond...



Also, something or other (read: misdemeanor petty larceny) happened with some players at some WAC school (read: Nevada Wolf Pack). Some coach has no comment and needs more information but will indefinitely suspend the players anyways.

London Giles, a guard from Dallas, Texas, and Ahyaro Phillips, a forward from New Orleans, were suspended along with the junior Fields after their release by Sparks police following an incident on Wednesday.

Nevada coach Mark Fox says he is "extremely disappointed" to learn of the citations. He says he doesn't have all the facts so doesn't have anything else to say at this time.

So there.

Finally, on a personal note we went to Las Vegas over the weekend and had lunch at Dick's Last Resort. It was the first time we had been but we knew the drill. The staff is suppose to be rude to you and crack wise. Sounds like fun! Look man, we work hard for our money. If we wanted to get that kind of treatment we could just have dinner with the wives at home. We go out to restaurants to have good food and good service. But we said what the hell and tried to rationalize it by thinking that the food HAD to be good because no one would subject themselves to bad food AND bad service. Right?

The worse crap we've had in recent memory. Horrible. Couldn't even finish it and we were drunk AND hungry! Best was that after we gave up on trying to consume this "meal" we got the check which instructed us to "Suck It".

Nice. We felt used and stupid. Hope that place goes bankrupt.

At least he wasn't driving

UAB guard and C-USA preseason player of the year Robert Vaden has been arrested for drinking and shoving.

A Bloomington officer was driving north on Walnut when he saw a subject in a red shirt pushing people, Canada said.

The officer approached Vaden, 23, and reported his eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slurred and his breath smelled like alcohol.

Apparently he was hanging around his former school Indiana University when this happened. Funny thing is that he is currently on probation from drinking and shoving last year! Just can't get enough, huh? No worries though, everyone does it. And then films it. And then sells it.


And it's almost illegal

A M2M exclusive

Now with big breasted babe!

Back in February of this year we wrote an article about Mr. Jesse Haskett, a Monmouth College b-ball senior who got a little crazy after more than a few Red Bulls and vodkas, and found himself in jail after destroying a poor woman's porch. We actually got a chance recently to speak with the lad and hear his side of the story. Here it is reprinted below with our comments in bold parentheses:

Basically what happened was we had a game that Saturday against a team we should have beaten and the loss all but ended our chances at making the conference playoffs (the loss came at the hands of 4-19 Beloit College). Things did not go well for my roommate and I, who was also a member of the team. We got back to the room and started what I would call combative drinking (here's an example of what happens after you do this). We left campus to go to a local bar that we always went to, which has the greatest prices ever by the way. That is where I got into the Red Bull vodkas. I'm not sure how many I had, but the number based on the open tab I left at the bar and what other friends said they bought me is from 8-10 (geez louise, we had just one of those things and spent the rest of the night crouched in a corner screaming COACH KRZYZEWSKI IS THE MESSIAH! REPENT!). I left the bar by myself around 1:15 in the morning. I don't remember leaving, so that is the best guess made by my friends (with friends like those, who needs AA?). I had actually left the bar on my own before and made my way back to campus when I apparently decided I was done drinking. However, this night I was A) Completely hammered beyond any stretch of the imagination; I couldn't have found my ass with both hands and B) Had left my cell phone back in my room. That turned out to be a costly mistake.

I woke up Sunday morning, looked around, and thought "This is jail, I wonder what I did. (hey, we've all been there... just be thankful you were still in the U.S.)" Come to find out, I had basically trashed this lady's porch door and some screens and other crap out there. The cops picked me up at 3:30 am on a January morning. I had wandered around since about 1:15 in the Illinois winter with jeans and a short sleeve button-up on. My best guess as to why I tried getting on this porch was that it must have looked similar to my home and I figured they had locked me out for some reason. The highlight was reading the police report because they put a special line in there about how they had picked me up with no shoes on and then found them on the porch. So at least when I smash your porch, I don't track mud everywhere (nice, very funny). I spent Sunday night in the tank, and my buddies bailed me out Monday after I saw the judge. Legally I'm in the clear now as long as I don't do anymore dumb shit in the next two years. Obviously I've quit the RBV and seriously cut back on the drinking.

So there it is, not my proudest moment, but a good story to tell I suppose. It would have been much funnier though had it happened to someone else.

Thank you Jesse for your side of the story. Peace and blessings and have you tried Rockstar and vodka?

Badgers badgers badgers

So, it seems that Wisconsin leads the nation in binge drinking...

Makes sense. Have you seen what U of Wisconsin students do during games? Swingtown?! WTF?



Sometimes they don't even need the damn band to break out into drunken song.

Tsk tsk.

(HT: EDSBS)

I'll have a Long Island without the Coke mixer

Have you ever had so much to drink that you went to bed to sleep it off, only to wake up hours later still drunk? University of Southern Indiana's Isaac Stoll has. And he admits he's an idiot to boot.

Isaac Stoll, the former Washington High School guard who recently joined the University of Southern Indiana men's basketball team, is facing charges of driving while intoxicated.

Pike County Sheriff's deputy Kent Johnson clocked Stoll going 77 mph in a 55 mph zone after he had passed a semi truck near the Pike-Daviess county line, according to the report.

Stoll had red, watery eyes and smelled of alcohol, according to the report. After failing various field tests, Stoll agreed to take a chemical blood test and registered .16 (twice the legal limit).

Stoll said he had been looking for a new place to stay next semester with his brother Evan before drinking at a friend of his brother's. Stoll said he went to sleep at Evan's at around midnight or 1 a.m. but had gotten up to go to work for a 7 a.m. shift.

"It was still in my system," Stoll said. "I'd gone to bed. I just got up to come home for work."

And speaking of failing, Arkansas guard Patrick Beverly has been thrown off the team for the entire season for academics?!?!

I mean what did that progress report look like? Did his professors give him all Zs because Fs were too high for his effort? The entire year?! Wowzers...

Now that's drunk!

(HT: EDSBS)

You wanna help Ike?!?!?!

Dakota Wesleyan University forward Ike Muoneke gets the reverse Ike Turner treatment outside of an Irish pub in the wee hours of the morn'.

Gary Bussmus, 49, and son Kyle, 21, both of Mitchell, were arrested Sunday on charges of simple assault after they were involved in a fight outside Blarney’s Pub in south Mitchell. Gary Bussmus also faces a resisting arrest charge.

Muoneke was taken to Avera Queen of Peace Hospital for his injuries, which included a swollen eye. Three others ...also sustained injuries, ranging from swollen lips to black eyes, (Police Lt. Don) Everson said.

So you got your usual drunkenness, yelling and disrespecting.

And now Muppet theater will reenact this scene a la "What's Love Got To Do with It" style with Gary and Kyle Bussmus playing the part of Kermit while Ike Muoneke will play the part of Miss Piggy:



There is also a racial tinge to this as well and is still under investigation. Oh goodie.

UTEP guard Stefon Jackson got his ass hauled into jail for hiding a suspected murderer at his place.

FBI agents arrested Willie Harden Jr., 20, on Friday at the Wendy's restaurant near the University of Texas at El Paso campus. Harden, of Philadelphia, was sought in a March 14 shooting that wounded five people in New Castle, Pa.

According to the affidavit, an FBI source on April 8, "learned that Harden had taken a Greyhound Bus to El Paso, Texas, and was currently residing with a cousin named Stefon Jackson."

Sheriff's Office spokesman Deputy Jesus Tovar said while conducting a protective sweep of the apartment, deputies found a second male who was hiding in the apartment. After a brief investigation, deputies learned that the man is wanted in Philadelphia, Pa. on a murder charge.

Stefon Jackson was arrested Tuesday morning on a charge of hindering apprehension or prosecution tied to the arrest of Willie Harden Jr., according to jail records and officials.

Hey. I understand that blood is thicker than water. But jail time is thicker than blood in my opinion. Would you guys hide a relative that was suspected of killing people?

On second thought, some of you out there don't answer that.

And you have some chronic too?

Obviously still smarting from that loss to UCLA, Xavier point guard Drew Lavender stops traffic with his drunken ways.

Court documents say Lavender was drunk and had to be asked several times to move from the intersection of a city street. Officers allegedly found pot on Lavender when he was searched.

The 23 year old senior point guard faces a charge of possession of marijuana and disorderly conduct.

Nice. We've all had moments like that, right?


Aw, it's ok big guy.

Updated bracket and failed liveblog

First, this is where we are at:



Not too shabby. We shall see what transpires today.

Next, we have to admit that we failed you. Yesterday we planned to do a liveblog of the first round. And we did, yet it was a little below our standards. And our standards are low to begin with, so lets just say it was shitty.

Between the myriad of technical problems we were encountering with the CoveritLive platform and this:



A sub-par event was created. Apologies to all. We want to do a makeup liveblog but we have to see when we can squeeze it in.

Other than that, enjoy you Friday!

Oh wait, conference root time. Congrats to UNLV for that pounding they gave Kent State!!!!!! Next stop, Kansas. *sigh*

Sit right back and we'll tell a tale

A tale of UNLV's win over BYU in the Mountain West Conference championship. But not the fierce 76 to 61 victory by the Runnin' Rebels. No, we want to bring up the fan fight that happened afterward!

...at least one Cougar fan's face was bloodied in the melees, and the wife of BYU's Lee Cummard was seen grabbing the shirts of two UNLV fans trying to run onto the floor. Several witnesses also said they saw Sarah Cummard throw punches.

..."Shame on UNLV fans." (Lee Cummard said).

...rivals lashed out at those around them, and angry fans spilled over chairs, down stairs and onto the floor. Several security guards appeared to be attacked, as well.

I told you Mormons were straight gangstas.

Brave Salt Lake City Tribune photographer Chris Detrick and reporter Rhiannon Potkey narrate this sad sorted photo essay about what happened. For shame.

Excuse me....

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!11!!!1!!!!

Week Ten Blogpoll

Here is the official consensus top 25 blogpoll -


WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

1) Memphis
2) North Carolina
3) Kansas
4) UCLA
5) Tennessee
6) Duke
7) Washington St.
8) Indiana
9) Texas A&M
10) Michigan St.
11) Butler
12) Marquette
13) Georgetown
14) Dayton
15) Ole Miss
16) Wisconsin
17) Pittsburgh
18) Xavier
19) Vanderbilt
20) Texas
21) Rhode Island
22) Arizona State
23) Drake
24) Miami (FL)
25) Clemson

Everyone's vote can be found here.

Comments - Wow, where the hell did Arizona State come from?! PWND!1!! And while we're at it, Dayton looks freakin' tough. At this moment they could probably beat Georgetown, as long as the Flyers don't party too much with their female student population beforehand.


Roman Catholics at their finest...

How the mighty have fallen: Villanova's descent from grace was pretty stunning.

7-Out

I was kinda shocked to find out that Oregon stymied the Lopez brothers. I mean, once they were both back and at full strength Stanford seemed to leap into top 25 contention.

And Oregon is very VERY inconsistent at times.

Yeah, I would have lost money on that in Vegas. Speaking of Vegas that is where I, Mr. "Blackjack Ladyfingers" will be this weekend. And you know what that means:


Did someone say "party"? And yes, I do dance like her when in Vegas. Very lame.

Nothing beats college hoops and the sports book. Might liveblog from there if I am not too drunk. Or maybe I SHOULD liveblog when I'm drunk. That would make for good trainwreck theater.

Lute Olson's divorce forcing kids to flee program.

UA freshman guard Laval Lucas-Perry quit the Arizona men's basketball team Monday, announcing he has decided to transfer to another school. He's undecided on where that will be.

His father, Laval Perry, did not return a call for comment.

Don't even tell me he left for another reason.

Nice article about how San Diego State now controls the MWC. Yes, we actually do...


Surprise, surprise.

Still doesn't mean that we will get into the big dance. But nice nonetheless. And an excuse to post an SDSU cheerleader photo (like I really need one).


NIT! NIT! Rah rah rah! Rah rah rah!

Friday random...

I've been drunk before. I've (thank goodness) blacked out in my car thinking I was OK to drive home from a club when in my 20s. Yeah, save your comments, I'm sure Karma has already sent me a bill that I paid in full.

But never EVER have I been this drunk. Not even when drowning my sorrows after yet another SDSU loss where they really had to win (reference Cal and St. Mary's this year).

And I'm assuming this person was drunk. You may have another explanation. I'd like to hear it.



(HT: EDSBS)

UPDATE: The vid title says that the driver was old and he lost his glasses. Don't buy it. If his actions only happened once, then maybe..

Chace Stanback is a poet

A friend recently pointed out UCLA forward Chace Stanback "now private" MySpace page.

Still there is this wonderful gem of a line...

""I'm so far ahead of my time I'm bout 2 start another life....look behind u I'm bout 2 past u twice".....UCLA BOUND"



Solid! Give that man a job as the American Poet Laureate after his college career! ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS TO YOU, SIR...

Next, Louisville coaches certainly know how to treat their players! This from the Las Vegas Review Journal:

Our sources say (first-year assistant coach Walter) McCarty and (Louisville player Juan) Palacios were in the LAX nightclub's VIP section early Thursday with several male friends, including a young white man who appeared to be a seven-footer. Palacios, 22, is injured and has not played this year.

A bottle of $400 Patron was charged to... (director of basketball operations) Eric Scott's credit card, I'm told, and a bottle of Veuve Clicquot, which goes for about $300, was paid for in cash.

A spokesman for the University of Louisville's basketball team has demanded a retraction for an item printed here that stated team members were night-clubbing.

Kenny Klein, the school's sports information director, called it a "completely erroneous report"...

Hmmmm, retraction huh? Completely erroneous, huh?


Juan Palacios


Well just who IS that Black man?

I feel there will be some disciplinary actions coming even though everyone was of age. Something along the lines of conduct unbecoming to the image of the program crap.

(HT: HCAA BB FanHouse)

Get out there and coach! But only if you want to.

Arizona coach Lute Olsen to see if he really wants to coach the Wildcats against Fullerton.

"It was nice to be back," Olson, 73, said through the sports information office after practice. "It was a good practice."

When asked about if he will help his team against the Titans, Olsen said...

"...we'll have to wait and see."

When pleaded with by the media and his team, stating that they are 3 and 2 and desperately needed him back, Olsen shrugged and muttered...

"I don't know."

And we STILL don't know why he bailed on Arizona for three weeks! Must be nice to have a job like that.

(HT: NCAA BB FanHouse)

Hey, did you know that Texas-San Antonio is 3 and 1 so far? Well hell, they were 7 and 22 last year. So lets celebrate!


I'll have what they're having.