Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Hot off the press

The 2008 - 2009 basketball schedule of the #5 party school as voted by Playboy magazine...

Thoughts -

Games that fall under the "definite" loss category: at Arizona, at Utah, at BYU.
Games that fall under the "definitely maybe" loss category: at UNLV, St. Mary's, at Northern Colorado
Games that fall under the "who knows" win/loss category: Arizona State, at Air Force, UCSB
Games that fall under the "definitely maybe" win category: Point Loma, UCSD, Fresno State, USD
Games that fall under the "definite" win category: CSU Northridge, Arkansas-Pine Bluff, Wyoming, New Mexico, TCU, Colorado State

All other games we really didn't think about. I guess you can put the ones we didn't talk about under the "who knows" category for now. More detailed analysis once the season starts.

Make your own comment

Santa Clara center John Bryant was stabbed in the back on Saturday...

"...Bryant was a victim of assault," Santa Clara Police Sgt. Kurt Clarke said in a phone interview. "We don't know specifically what transpired. It's still under investigation. We are interviewing victims and witnesses."

Angry fans perhaps?

Too early to prognosticate?

TRENT: It's time to move on. You're a stylish, successful, good looking cat.
MIKE: That's bullshit.
TRENT: It's not. You're money.
MIKE: I'm scared. ...I don't know...
TRENT: You can't think like that, baby. It's hard, I know. I've been there. You just gotta get back out there.
MIKE: It's just tough... to be with someone new.

With the loss of Kevin Love and his cast of characters, UCLA will look a whole lot different and in our opinion a little bit weaker overall. The Bruins leaned heavily on the big man in the middle so Ben Howland will need to change up their offense. We expect a deep run for UCLA but nowhere near the "success" of last season.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Mr. Miles needs to restrain himself

Oh Nate, you so silly...

Nate Miles, a freshman on the UConn men's basketball team, will appear at Superior Court in Rockville Tuesday to answer charges of violating a restraining order.

According to a UConn police report, Miles, 20, of Toledo, Ohio, was served with a restraining order Monday night. Miles allegedly violated the order 16 minutes later by placing a call to the protected party.

Miles, arrested at 8:51 p.m., was held on a $2,500 surety bond and later released after posting bond.

Restraining order? Your puny "restraining" order means nothing to Maximus Miles, the great basketball love god! The lady must have been confused by his sexual power and quite frightened by its voracity. It happens to mere mortal women.

Pa Calhoun had no comment.

Too early to prognosticate?

SERA: We gotta decide this... right now. Before we go any further. You either stay here with me or...
(Ben turns to look at her)
SERA: ... we can't see each other any more.
BEN: Sera... what you don't understand is...
SERA: What?
BEN: You can never... never... ask me to stop drinking. Do you understand?
SERA: I do. I really do.

Yeah yeah, a cheap shot. But that's how we roll around here sometimes. The Mountaineers should be a smart pick to be in the second round of the Madness. What they lack in talent (e.g. perimeter shooting) they make up for in depth. As long as Huggins stays sane, they should be solid but not a top 25 team.

It had to be said...

Trojans burst under pressure from Beavers

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Too early to prognosticate?

RUSTY: You'd need at least a dozen guys, doing a combination of cons.
DANNY: Like what, you think?
RUSTY: Well, off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boesky, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros, and a Leon Spinks. Oh, and the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever.
DANNY: Ten should do it, don't you think?
(as Rusty shrugs)
DANNY: You think we need one more?
(as Rusty shrugs)
DANNY: You think we need one more.
(as Rusty shrugs)
DANNY: Okay. We'll get one more.

So goes the current state of Hoosier Nation. Indiana has lost more players than Ben Sanderson lost brain cells. We think that they still will go far (meaning the first round of March Madness), but that will be done by a series of smoke, mirrors and miracles. Crean is good for that. Then the world will come crashing in like a mortgage default.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Are you ready for some (23 hours of) basketball?

ESPN, that world wide leader of sports has cooked up a doozy of an opening in college hoops land. They have decided to air 14 damn games all in a row on November 18th.

The idea, says ESPN programmer Ilan Ben-Hanan, was to create a made-for-TV "stunt" to give college basketball a sort of round-the-clock opening day...

Ben-Hanan says "by no means would we pressure anybody" to take nocturnal tip times. Rather, teams saw it as a "unique exposure opportunity. And we suggested they maybe turn the games into pajama parties."

Yeah? Well break out the milk and cookies! Among the games scheduled are UMass at Memphis, Fresno State at St. Mary's, Iowa at Kansas and Kentucky at North Carolina. Games will span from midnight (EST) on the 18th to approx. 11:30 pm on the 19th.

ESPN sage and college basketball analyst Andy Katz gave his infinite insight into all of this with the following:

None of this was easy to put together. The programming department at ESPN had to work with existing games, tournaments and some previously scheduled games had to be tweaked to come earlier in the season.

Ok. We'll file that in the No Shit department. But we're not complaining. After this dreadfully boring off-season, we would watch Rice at Troy with rapt attention.

Party at Gabby's!

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... Pool party

Hop on in!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Too early to prognosticate?

HUDSON: Well that's great! That's just fucking great, man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do, man? We're in some real pretty shit now!
HICKS: Are you finished? (To Ripley) You okay?
(She nods. She can't disguise her stricken expression. She shrugs with fatalistic acceptance.)
RIPLEY: I'm sorry, Newt.
NEWT: You don't have to be sorry.
HUDSON: Just tell me what the fuck we're supposed to do now. What are we gonna do now?

And so goes another SDSU season. We come in loaded with talent, ready to take on the MWC and all comers to get to the big dance. Only we lose games to the most insignificant of foes and to the weakest of conferences. We don't see this changing anytime soon unless:

A) Steve Fisher becomes the Tony Robbins of the coaching world


B) We get ACC type talent who knows how to win games, big or SMALL

Friday, September 19, 2008

Too early to prognosticate?

RIPLEY: How do we kill it?
ASH: I don't think you can.
ASH: You still don't realize what you're dealing with. Superbly structured, cunning...
LAMBERT: You admire it.
ASH: How can one not admire perfection.
RIPLEY: Sorry Ash. I don't buy it.
ASH: You egocentric morons. You'll be ripped to shreds, destroyed and...
(Ripley makes a movement to disconnect Ash)
ASH: I can only wish you well...
(Ripley pulls the plug)

We admit we got the dialog idea from an EDSBS post but still. With the preseason Blogpoll about a month away we've been thinking about this. And we cannot come up with a good reason why UNC should not be #1. For that matter why UNC should not be in the final four in 2009. They have almost everyone back that got them to the big dance last year. Hmmm...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Billy Donovan is basically a temp

Mr. Donovan, he of the back to back NCAA Basketball Championship doesn't have a contact right now. He made out with the Orlando Magic but chickened out before he put the condom on and ran back to his wife, Ms. Florida Gator. Flo took him back and even offered him a rich, iron clad contract to make him stay faithful. But Billy Boy has not signed it.

We think he is still looking to consummate his infidelity with Orlando or some other skank from the NBA.

Prove us wrong, Billy. Sign the damn thing and respect your players and recent recruits.

In other non-basketball related news (how we love the off-season), all you idiot veterans of foreign wars don't know what war is like. Really, you don't. Only John McCain and his immediate family truly knows what war is like. So fuck off. Love, Meghan.

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... Yo quiero Taco Bell?

Or not...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I bet you want to work for the DOI now

That's Department of the Interior for all you non-gubmint types. Yeah, we here at M2M are simply fascinated by the report on the sex and drug scandal that happened at the Revenue In Kind (RIK) division of the DOI (the folks that regulate oil drilling on federal land). By itself just the term DOI and RIK would knock us into a deep sleep. But zowie, this stuff is near Cinemax After Dark quality:

The RIK employee recalled that on one occasion in late 2004, (Gregory W. Smith, RIK Program Director) telephoned her repeatedly asking for drugs. She said she provided cocaine to him early that evening, but he continued to call her. Eventually, she said, Smith traveled to her house and wanted her to have sex with him. She said he also asked her if she had more cocaine, and she stated that she did not but that someone who was staying with her might. She said Smith obtained crystal methamphetamine from one of these individuals and she watched him snort it off the toaster oven in her kitchen. The RIK employee also said she and Smith engaged in oral sex that evening.

And here is a section that should have anyone that works in the rape and sexual abuse prevention field screaming...

We interviewed yet another RIK employee who stated that in approximately 2005, Smith "insisted" that she ride in his car from one business establishment to another, and she agreed. This employee stated that Smith took "the long way" between the two businesses, and during the drive, he asked to go to her nearby home, but she refused. "He wanted to have sex; I said no," she recalled; Smith then asked if she would have oral sex with him, but she told him she did not want to. She said Smith then "basically forced [her] head into his lap," and she performed oral sex on him while he drove the car slowly. She said she resisted Smith when he pulled her head into his lap, but Smith did not relent and continued to pull her head down. She said Smith was "real persistent" but not violent, and she did not feel as though she had been sexually assaulted by Smith.

Nice. And what a department! Can you imagine a conversation between a female RIK employee and say an exotic dancer?

RIK employee: "So, what do you do?"

Exotic dancer: "I'm a dancer at a gentlemen's club. I spend my evenings naked while having strange men grope me and shove money down my crotch. You?"
RIK employee: "Oh, I work for the Revenue In Kind division of the Department of the Interior."
Exotic dancer: "What? Get the hell away from me you slut! Don't you have any respect for yourself?!"

Warren Sapp loved the White women

See, we told you...

Damn this is a slow off-season...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

George may be out for season

That beast of a basketball player, UNC Asheville's Kenny George needs to have surgery on his foot (again) and could miss the season. This would come as a huge blow for the Bulldogs as demonstrated here, but not for George. He may have a career in acting as witness by his last movie.

Something Has Found Us...

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... Passed the F-out!

NSFW... Yeah, she is gone...

Monday, September 8, 2008

A M2M exclusive

Now with big breasted babe!

Back in February of this year we wrote an article about Mr. Jesse Haskett, a Monmouth College b-ball senior who got a little crazy after more than a few Red Bulls and vodkas, and found himself in jail after destroying a poor woman's porch. We actually got a chance recently to speak with the lad and hear his side of the story. Here it is reprinted below with our comments in bold parentheses:

Basically what happened was we had a game that Saturday against a team we should have beaten and the loss all but ended our chances at making the conference playoffs (the loss came at the hands of 4-19 Beloit College). Things did not go well for my roommate and I, who was also a member of the team. We got back to the room and started what I would call combative drinking (here's an example of what happens after you do this). We left campus to go to a local bar that we always went to, which has the greatest prices ever by the way. That is where I got into the Red Bull vodkas. I'm not sure how many I had, but the number based on the open tab I left at the bar and what other friends said they bought me is from 8-10 (geez louise, we had just one of those things and spent the rest of the night crouched in a corner screaming COACH KRZYZEWSKI IS THE MESSIAH! REPENT!). I left the bar by myself around 1:15 in the morning. I don't remember leaving, so that is the best guess made by my friends (with friends like those, who needs AA?). I had actually left the bar on my own before and made my way back to campus when I apparently decided I was done drinking. However, this night I was A) Completely hammered beyond any stretch of the imagination; I couldn't have found my ass with both hands and B) Had left my cell phone back in my room. That turned out to be a costly mistake.

I woke up Sunday morning, looked around, and thought "This is jail, I wonder what I did. (hey, we've all been there... just be thankful you were still in the U.S.)" Come to find out, I had basically trashed this lady's porch door and some screens and other crap out there. The cops picked me up at 3:30 am on a January morning. I had wandered around since about 1:15 in the Illinois winter with jeans and a short sleeve button-up on. My best guess as to why I tried getting on this porch was that it must have looked similar to my home and I figured they had locked me out for some reason. The highlight was reading the police report because they put a special line in there about how they had picked me up with no shoes on and then found them on the porch. So at least when I smash your porch, I don't track mud everywhere (nice, very funny). I spent Sunday night in the tank, and my buddies bailed me out Monday after I saw the judge. Legally I'm in the clear now as long as I don't do anymore dumb shit in the next two years. Obviously I've quit the RBV and seriously cut back on the drinking.

So there it is, not my proudest moment, but a good story to tell I suppose. It would have been much funnier though had it happened to someone else.

Thank you Jesse for your side of the story. Peace and blessings and have you tried Rockstar and vodka?

Friday, September 5, 2008

Major randoms

So we were all jawing with each other on that instant messenger thing complaining about the absence of basketball (except for me 'cause I gots college foozball). And the subject of California casinos came up and maybe we should take a road trip to one of them.

I dissented. And gave the following answer on why I would never go to one...

"California’s Indian casinos are legally allowed to offer electronic gaming machines, blackjack, and other games but craps and roulette are not permitted. And there are other aspects that separate California from Las Vegas. Under ABC rules, casinos cannot offer complimentary drinks. Also, no alcohol can be served after 1:30 am."

The response from the rest of the gang was "But what about blackjack and slots?"

My reply was "What if I want to play them at 4 am with a nice Glenlivet Single Malt?"

Then the conversation turned to strip clubs. I dissented. Complained it was a waste of money. That fact didn't seem to sink in with the fellas. They said "We know some places where the girls are smoking hot 10s!"

I countered "I don't care if they all looked like Moon Zappa."

Exposed! They were stunned that I thought she was attractive. Then they started to laugh at me...

I don't care, I still like ya Moon Unit.


Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young man as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

That's our favorite type of trouble

First, we got some FnDC (Fighting in Da Club) with a member of the Oklahoma basketball team up in this muthafucka!

NORMAN, Okla. (AP) - Two University of Oklahoma athletes stabbed at a nightclub during a brawl that reportedly involved guns, knives and tire irons were identified by police on Tuesday.

...freshman basketball guard Ray Willis sustained knife wounds during the Sunday morning altercation, officers said in a news release.

The fight erupted about 2:30 a.m. after a number of people tried unsuccessfully to crash a private party at the club and allegedly attacked invited guests after they were denied entry, police said.

Nice, but you know what's missing? Some hapless random chick getting hit by a fleeing car once the police looked like they were going to start tasing them, bro.

Nineteen-year-old Rachel Taylor, who was struck by a vehicle outside, was treated at a hospital and released.


Next, Kent State guard Chris Singletary likes to party and doesn't give a flip about being too loud.

...Chris Singletary was arrested early Sunday morning and charged with violating a noise ordinance after receiving a warning at his Olympus Drive apartment, according to a Kent police report.

On March 10, he was charged with nuisance party regulations. He also was arrested on April 7 on charges of driving under DUI suspension.

Keep on fighting for your right to party, Chris. Mommy and the police are just jealous.

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... (Not so) excellent camera placement

Contextually NSFW... Damn, move yer hand!