Thursday, November 27, 2008

Surfing around before the holidays

File under HI-LARIOUS!: Coach Bruce Pearl's ex-wife is putting that alimony to good use. She opened up her own business in Knoxville, a hair and nail salon.

Called... Alimony's.

Nice. You go girl. Although we still can't fault the Tennessee coach for dumping you for "fresher" meat.

From this -

To this -

You decide. (HT: The Dagger)

How in sam hell do you hold a team's best scorer and the nation's #1 scorer SCORELESS the entire game and still lose by 30?

DAVIDSON, N.C. (AP) -- No points for Stephen Curry, no problem for No. 24 Davidson.

In a bizarre game that saw the nation's leading scorer go scoreless and attempt only three shots because of constant double teams, the Wildcats still overwhelmed Loyola (Md.) 78-48 on Tuesday in the consolation round of the NIT Season Tip-Off.

WTFOMGPWND! The first blogpoll of the regular season is coming out next week and we know we are gonna rank the Wildcats high.

Kansas no more, beaten by the Orange in overtime. Sparta? Naw...

Housekeeping note: We probably will not be posting anything until Monday, but start looking for us at Sports Illustrated where we will be pulling double duty. More info to follow and happy turkey weekend.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Goth Talk on ESPN

Steve Lavin's wife, Queen of the Goths is not interested in this game.

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... Free Falling

NSFW... Runnin' down a dream.

We guess he really had to go

Wiggins, Wiggins, Wiggins...

Failed drug test after failed drug test after failed drug test. We thought transferring to UMass might give the young lad a fresh start.

Well, he's not doing dope anymore.

Just busting into peoples homes to relieve himself.

AMHERST - The troubled men's basketball career of Doug Wiggins took another wrong turn Monday, when the University of Massachusetts suspended the junior guard indefinitely.

According to and other sources, the Amherst town police log recorded that Wiggins had been arrested on a misdemeanor charge of breaking and entering early Saturday morning.

The report said he was found inside the bathroom of another person's home.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Two teams enter...

Jimmy Connors shows his support for UC Santa Barbara's basketball team by getting his ass thrown in jail just before tip off.

Tennis giant Jimmy Connors was arrested outside a college basketball game in California for standing his ground, police said.

Connors, 56, was ordered to move away from the entrance of the Thunderdome just before UC Santa Barbara and top-ranked North Carolina were set to play Friday night.

Monday, November 24, 2008

When you're here, you're family

Best. Olive. Garden. Commercial. Ever.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Only because we like this song

Yeah, yeah, yeah... Trust us, as soon as the season gets into high gear and the Blogpoll gets rolling. This will be a lot less.

Ok, gotta go. The wives want to go out tonight. It's Saturday. Only wish they liked fighting.

Mad respect, Mr. John.

Friday, November 21, 2008

You like us, you really really like us!

20,000 page views! Thank you!!!!11!

Happy Friday.

The first award of the season

UCLA, join your fellow cross town rivals in this indignity:

Michigan bitch slaps the Bruins 1 - 3 - 1 times 55 to 52.

1 - 3 - 1 zone in the HOUSE

Congrats Wolverines, you receive the M2M This Is Sparta! award.

Well done. Good luck with the rest of the season though.

Beginning of the end

What do you do when your team unexpectedly loses the opening round of the first tournament of the season?

Denial: "Whaaaaaaaa? There's still time left, right? After they fouled Harvey 0.5 seconds went off the clock before they stopped it. They're gonna put some more time on the clock, right?"

Anger: "Those fucking refs! They were giving Seton Hall favorable calls all games!! Do the Pirates have some fucking Puerto Ricans on their team or something?!?!"

Bargaining: "Wait, we can fix this. There's a consolation round, right? If we can beat Chattanooga by a lot, then maybe we can talk to the officials and ask them to give us another shot. They can do that, right? It's in the by rules, right?!"

Depression: Reference picture above...    :(

Acceptance: "Well, we don't have OJ Mayo anymore. It's a rebuilding year. It's all good. We'll get better. Right?"

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lessons in futility

The New Jersey Institute of Technology hasn't won a game since February 19th, 2007.

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. -- The New Jersey Institute of Technology suffered its 35th straight loss, the most of any Division I team, falling to Penn State 74-47 on Monday in the Philly Hoop Group Classic.

School officials have said that the Highlanders won't go into the official Division I record book because they are in their final reclassifying year and will not be a full member of Division I until 2009-10.

Frustrated, degraded, down before you're done
Rejection, depression, can't get what you want
You ask me how I make my way
You ask me everywhere and why
You hang on every word I say
But the truth sounds like a lie
Live to win, 'till you die, 'till the light dies in your eyes
Live to win, take it all, just keep fighting till you fall

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I'm seriously thinking about slapping you...

...with palms wide open. Or closed.

Syracuse guard Eric Devendorf induces riot on student, then finishes her off.

Kimberly Smith said she was driving her car at about 3 a.m. in the city on Nov. 1 when several people began kicking the vehicle, according to police.

Smith told police when she got out of the car to get the people to stop, Devendorf walked up to Smith with a closed fist and struck her.

Do I look like I would hit a woman?

In what we consider the best way yet to handle a technical, Loyola coach Jimmy Patsos just gives up mid game, left the bench and chilled out in the stands.

The trouble began when Patsos was slapped with a technical foul midway through the first half.

"It was a very strange situation," Patsos said Wednesday in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "I really hadn't done anything in the first place to warrant the technical, and there was no warning. But instead of arguing, I just moved to the other side of the bench and had (assistant) Matt Kovarick call the plays."

Patsos said video of the scene shows Loyola athletic director Joe Boylan in the stands, placing his hands on his head in astonishment. Seconds later, Patsos climbed about two rows into the seats to sit behind Boylan and ask for some advice.

C'mon, you KNOW you want to laugh at that. If anyone has the video, let us know.

The debate between "fat" and thin is over

Would you rather have this?                                             Or this?

I though so. That is all.

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... The positives about California's Proposition 8

Technically NSFW. No snarky comment needed.

When 44 points just isn't enough

Imagine that. You singlehandedly score over half your teams points. And you still lost.

Oklahoma beat Davidson 82 to 78. The Wildcats' Stephen Curry made it rain with 44 points. Either this shows how good the Sooners are, or how bad the other four players on Davidson are.

44 points and you still go home a loser. How does a conversation like that go?

Curry's friend (who's waiting for him to go pro so he can mooch): Yo man, sorry I couldn't make it to the game. But I turned on ESPN and they said you hung nearly half a hundy on 'em?! You guys must of buried them, playa!
Curry: Uh, not quite...

We're just speechless.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Mr. Manic-Depressive

#15 Arizona State University vs. San Diego State University
Tuesday, November 18th at 8 pm PST
Cox Arena, San Diego CA

(HT: MGoBlog)

Defending Duke...

So we got a bit of grief for not ranking Duke on the preseason Blogpoll.

Um, yeah... Right... Not a minute before will we rank them until they show us some heart.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Le sigh

Our.... Football... Team... Sucks... Ass...

In short: Lost to Division 1AA school. Kept the coach who hasn't had a winning season since he was hired for another year. Students and fans want to cut the football program altogether.

Mr. Fisher? Please, we beg of you. Can we have a respectable basketball season? Just one. We'll suck your dick be forever grateful.

March To Madness

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The season is here!

Welcome boys and girls, the show is about to begin. The greatest spectacle that is NCAA College Basketball.

ESPN and Blue Ribbon College Basketball Yearbook has done their preseason analysis of all the division 1A teams, and we are lucky enough that SDSU was given a free preview. Or maybe that goes to show you that we are not worth the money.

In the eight times Steve Fisher has returned at least four starters from the previous season, those teams won at least 21 games and all eight advanced to the postseason.

It should be nine in 2008-09 for Fisher's San Diego State Aztecs. Entering his 10th season in San Diego, Fisher returns all five starters, eight lettermen and 12 players who have won at least 20 games at a college program and advanced to the postseason.

The Aztecs return 96.3 percent of their points and 84.8 percent of their rebounds from last season's squad that went 20-13 and advanced to the postseason for the third straight year -- a first-round loss in the NIT to Florida.

So there is hope of sorts for this season, until we woke up to the following headline:

San Diego St. 59, UC San Diego 40

Isn't UCSD a division 2A school? Shouldn't we have won like by a bunch more?

The Aztecs have won all 10 games against its Division II opponents, winning the previous nine by an average margin of nearly 26 points. The outcome was the closest since 1969 when San Diego State won by five points.

And we are taking that to Arizona State on Tuesday? Really? Oh boy...

Next up, ERIN ANDREWS!!!

That should increase page hits. But we wouldn't just say that without giving you something. Behold EA Sports NCAA College Basketball 2009 with Erin Andrews.

We don't get the attraction but there ya go.

Finally, for our female and non-traditional male readers here's a pic of Tyler Hansbrough looking quite dapper.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Y'all need to be careful

UCLA almost got upset by fisty Miami (of Ohio, not of Florida). Funny thing is they blamed it on the freshmen.

LOS ANGELES (AP) -UCLA's five freshmen will have to wait. The Bruins' seniors aren't ready to completely hand over control just yet.

With the outcome in doubt Thursday night, (senior) Darren Collison made two free throws with 21 seconds remaining and No. 4 UCLA survived a defensive struggle to beat Miami (Ohio) 64-59 in the 2K Sports Classic.

Highlights of that scare -

C'mon guys, they were only freshmen...

Florida guard Nick Calathes loves his poker. Too bad his poker doesn't love him back...

"I lost money," Calathes said. "I really don't know how much."

...Nick Calathes ran up a significant debt playing poker online, but said Friday night he did nothing illegal. The story first reported by said Calathes amassed a $600 debt playing poker online.

"The only thing I'm going to say about any of that stuff is the unfortunate part in all this is nobody on our team has done anything wrong," (Florida coach) Donovan said.

And that's, that. No, wait... Something else happened. Can't quite put our finger on it... Something keeps repeating itself. Hmmm....

Dé·jà vu: 1 a: the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time b: a feeling that one has seen or heard something before 2: something overly or unpleasantly familiar

Kentucky once again gets sliced by the most unlikely of opponents.

Billy Gillispie didn't mention Gardner-Webb, but his postgame assessment was verbatim from the last time his Kentucky team was shocked like this.

"They whipped us," Gillispie said of the Wildcats' 111-103 upset to Virginia Military Institute Friday night.

Ok, back to more basketball watching.

Friday, November 14, 2008

There's no such thing as plagiarism on the Internets

So the whole Duke-UNC countdown on CBS Sports has made the rounds including posts about the ridiculousness of it here and here. But who knew the latter post about it would lead to the following exchange?

Are we being defended by a loyal reader? Are we being complimented on our quickness in delivering a scoop? Neither, we're not that good. But it was still amusing for us to read.

Are the Aztecs playing ASU next? Not quite, we gotta get past the Tritons first. We play the Blogpoll's 15th ranked Sun Devils on November 18th. First loss here we come! But 2009 is looking good though with our top 25 ranked recruiting class.

Can those kids play now?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Anger management

First, yeah we're happy the Aztecs won last night. But that is not why we are talking about it here. Actually we love what the journalists came up with to explain the win...

Spain drains 19 for SDSU

Nice. (cue 70s porn music)

Oh my! You just caught me getting out of the shower. *giggles* Word has it you draiiiiiiined 19 all OVER those Lions. Mmmmmmmm, got any more left for little ol' me? Do it for SDSU...

Charlotte University 49ers coach Bobby Lutz has issues. His player gets fouled hard and no call. Yeah, we would be upset too. Maybe even yet at the refs. But would we run over to the opposing coach and give even him a tongue lashing too?

CHARLOTTE (AP) — Charlotte has publicly reprimanded coach Bobby Lutz for going through Pfeiffer's huddle and yelling at coach Dave Davis during an exhibition game Thursday.

Lutz was upset after Charlotte point guard DiJuan Harris hit the floor hard, but no foul was called. Lutz came on the floor to check on Harris, argued with an official and received a technical foul. Lutz then stormed to the Pfeiffer bench and shouted at Davis.

Easy there, Tex. Just an exhibition game.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Basketball is starting to destroy football

Duke (4-5 in football), NC State (3-6 in football), Clemson (4-5 in football), Virginia (5-5 in football) all have good reason to turn their heads away from the awful play on the gridiron and towards the possibly pleasant play on the hardwood this November.

But hey, what about the winners? Wake Forest (6-3 in football), Virginia Tech (6-3 in football), North Carolina (7-2 in football)?

Even those fans really don't give a shit...

Nearly three-quarters of the unsold tickets come from a 4,000-seat block set aside for the visiting team. North Carolina has accounted for approximately 1,100 tickets, which is less than the 1,200 both N.C. State and Wake Forest sold for their games last month.

An educated guess as to why sales would be so tepid for fans of a 7-2 team enjoying its best season in a decade? Well, the top-ranked Carolina basketball team opens its season Saturday at 4 p.m., meeting Penn in the Dean Dome.

College hoops. It's FAN-tastic!


Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... The Spoon

NSFW... W - T - F

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

C'mon, really?!

Seen on CBS Sports College Basketball home page...

Is this game really the only game worth watching? That matters? What, someone tell us!

2008 - 2009 preseason Blogpoll

Here is the official consensus top 25 Blogpoll -

1) North Carolina
3) Connecticut
4) Louisville
5) Pittsburgh
6) Michigan State
7) Notre Dame
8) Texas
9) Tennessee
10) Gonzaga
11) Oklahoma
12) Memphis
13) Duke
14) Purdue
15) Arizona State
16) Davidson
17) Miami (FL)
18) Marquette
19) Wake Forest
20) Georgetown
21) Florida
22) Wisconsin
23) USC
24) Baylor
25) Villanova

Everyone's vote can be found here.

UNC was the consensus #1 pick (no duh). We got criticized for not having Duke ranked on our ballot. We've defended our view on Duke before, but we'll summarize again:

Duke for the past 5 years have come in strong and loaded and has consistently underperformed. First round and second round exits galore. We take tournament performance into consideration when ranking teams. Really, does Duke deserve a #5 AP ranking or a #13 Blogpoll ranking when they can't get out of the second round of March Madness (or gets beat up in their conference tournament)? Of course once the season starts and they start winning games we will rank them. But not a second before. So...

Duke = meh

That is all.

How did you spend your off season?

Us? Well...

Not saying we were proud. It was just the lethal combination of SAD/BORED/BOOZE IN THE HOUSE.

The season for us starts today. Go Aztecs, beat Point Loma. Hey, we won last year, right? Are we going to regret saying that? Probably.

Miscellaneous thoughts and the final countdown

First, the news...

UCLA forward Nikola Dragovic angry over the inferior quality of opponent, tosses ex-girlfriend down stairs, misses game.

The 20-year-old Dragovic of Belgrade, Serbia, went to the apartment he shared with the woman and found his belongings had been dumped out front, police officer April Harding said.

"He and the ex-girlfriend began to argue. He got mad and pushed her down," Harding said.

Dragovic was taken into custody and booked on suspicion of misdemeanor battery. Bail was set at $20,000.

The arrest caused him to miss No. 4 UCLA's 76-42 exhibition victory over Biola.

Dayton transfer Desmond Adedeji celebrates making the starting lineup at center, subsequently gets arrested and jeopardizes position.

Stony Brook University police charged a student who is expected to start at center for the school's basketball team with driving while intoxicated yesterday morning.

Desmond Adedeji, a 6-foot-9, 305-pound transfer student from the University of Dayton, was pulled over on the campus' South Drive at 6:15 a.m., a police spokesman said.

Binghamton University's Malik Alvin gets punished for practicing safe sex...

Binghamton University basketball player Malik Alvin has been suspended from the men's team until legal matters related to an incident last month at Wal-Mart are resolved.

Vestal police have charged Alvin, 20, with third-degree assault, a misdemeanor, after an alleged incident with a Wal-Mart employee who police said confronted Alvin for alleging leaving the store without paying for a box of condoms.

Hey, did you know you can book the Duke cheerleaders for your next event?


We were gonna show a picture of the current squad, but... Just click on the link if you wanna see.

So, we are approximately one week away from the beauty of college hoops. We must say that this off season was HORRIBLE. People thought that all we did was talk about AP news clippings. We do talk about games and teams and such, you know. Like original content! For example, today we will be posting the preseason blogpoll. And starting in about a week we will begin our Always Be Closing and This Is Sparta awards. So I guess we are trying to say hold on baby, the season is almost upon us.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... I don't care

Technically NSFW... BlackBerries are sexy

Monday, November 3, 2008

Satire, defined

IMAGINATIONLAND, NC -- On the heels of his historic unanimous selection to the AP preseason All-American team -- in which he received one vote from every single one of 72 voters -- and his team's unanimous No. 1 preseason ranking, Tyler Hansbrough was selected Monday to the NBA All-Star Team and the Baseball and Football Halls of Fame, the Real World/Road Rules veterans squad, Survivor All-Stars, and as Dick Vitale's first ever lifetime captain of the P-T-P'ers.

He was also awarded top honors on every Bravo game show, including Top Chef and Project Runway; was given the Pulitzer and Nobel Prizes for "Excellence in Basketball"; received the McArthur Genius Grant; and was elected, in a last-minute runoff landslide, to the Presidency of the United States of America.

Hansbrough is currently recovering from a shin injury that should sideline him for a few weeks. His shin was named "Awesomest Shin Ever" by the North Carolina University Hospital medical staff.

From the most excellent blog The Dagger.