Monday, June 30, 2008

You like us, you really really like us!

10,000 page views! Thank you!!!!11!

Good night.

Friday, June 27, 2008

You said it

Now ex Stanford forward Brook Lopez was recorded during the NBA Draft...

Lopez: "This is so boring!"


(Major HT: Deadspin)

Oh yeah, Indiana's AD Rick Greenspan is going to resign because he failed too. But we're not gonna put his picture up here with that.

Ignore my lifestyle and listen

No one could make this up. There are plans to re-introduce the Marriage Protection Amendment in the US Senate. California has got them scared. However we would like to point out two co-sponsors of this thing...

Senators Larry Craig and David Vitter.

Yup. Those two. Can't remember what makes these two staunch defenders of Christian family values so peculiar?

Craig, who entered a guilty plea to a reduced charge of disorderly conduct, was detained and charged for attempting to engage in sexual activity with a male undercover police officer. His arrest and plea became public two months later.

In July of 2007, Vitter was identified as a client of a prostitution firm owned by the late Deborah Jeane Palfrey, commonly known as The DC Madam.

(HT: PageOneQ)

Yeah, we've been on a fail trip lately. Anyways, guess it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round. Happy Friday.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

We're going international with our thuggery

But first, we understand that driving can be very stressful. Heck, we know some people who need to take a Xanax before hitting the road (of course that was after a major accident).

Maybe that is the reason why Georgia guard Billy Humphrey needs to have a few drinks before he gets behind the wheel.

Humphrey was arrested early Tuesday morning for drunk driving. He faces a possible 15-game suspension for a second violation of Georgia Athletic Association alcohol rules. The circumstances and the timing of the arrests could mitigate the association's penalties.

Officers admitted Humphrey into the Gwinnett County jail at 3:32 a.m. on Tuesday for DUI, failure to maintain his lane and purchasing alcohol while underage. It was his third overall arrest since November.

Which basically means he is gone baby gone. Exactly what the Bulldogs need at this point. Good luck with all that, coach!

UPDATE: Humphrey begged like a bitch not to be arrested. "You'll ruin my career!" he says.

No, sir. You did that yourself.

Now for the crazy ass news. A month or so ago we talked about Binghamton University forward Miladin Kovacevic knocking the sweet bejebus out of some guy. What we didn't talk about was that after Kovacevic's arrest, the Serbian government paid $100,000 to get him out of jail and gave him an emergency "flee now" passport!

(United States) Senator Charles Schumer is calling for sanctions against Serbia if Kovacevic is not returned.

"We want this Serbian national who perpetrated this crime, who has a warrant out for arrest for this crime, he has to be returned immediately or they'll be the severest of consequences." says Schumer.

The FBI has made this a high priority case.

Good gravy that Serb has some pull. Maybe he is dating one of Boris Tadić's daughters?

Wait, where are you going?

A few of our blogpoll comrades are covering the 2008 NBA Draft tonight. We think you should really check them out:

Bizarro Joe Lunardi will be doing a LiveBlog of the event.

Storming the Floor will have links to other coverage plus their own commentary.

Super, Scintillating and Sarcastic has a mock draft and commentary.

By now you know we just can't do that here. Our loathing of the NBA runs so deep... can't even finish that sentence.

Ma, I wish they could just stay in college forever!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Overkill? Naw...

HBO is set to do the first ever documentary on the Duke-UNC rivalry...

< /sarcasm>

Because we really need to know exactly how it started and why it continues. Really, this will basically explain the game of basketball itself. And it airs a month before March Madness 2009 no less. We can't wait. We are so excited. Our TiVos are ready. Yeah...

Next up, star high school b-ball player decides he can make a name for himself slinging cane rather than playing college basketball.

Benjamin Brooks, 18, of Williston, Vt., was charged with multiple counts of cocaine sale, each punishable by up to 5 years in prison, police said.

Brooks is a star at Champlain Valley Union high school and is currently serving a deferred sentence for a 2007 drug arrest. Police seized cocaine, marijuana, scales and drug paraphernalia from his home. He was allowed to play basketball after the arrest.

The best, he was "allowed" to keep playing after he was arrested. Hmmm, criminal acts and possible jail time or a phenomenal college basketball career? Tough choice for some.

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... Peek-A-Boo

Click for full picture and try to find out what is "sticking" out.
Technically safe for work but not SMART for work. We try to look out for you.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Dr. Rockso commits to SDSU

(Reuters) - In a surprising and unprecedented move, Dr. Rockso the Rock and Roll Clown has stated he will play basketball next year at San Diego State University. Since he has never gone to college he has all four years of eligibility even though Rockso is in his 40s. When questioned about the reasons why, Dr. Rockso mentioned that he feels SDSU naturally fits his love, passion and lifestyle.

Coke is it!

M2M's Believe it or Not

God Arrested On Cocaine Charge.

On April 28, police bought 3.4 grams of cocaine from him out of a home at 3812 N. Avon Ave., according to the report. A month later, police served a search warrant on that address and found a safe in the bedroom closet containing three plastic bags with 22.5 grams of cocaine, according to the report. Police also found a digital scale with cocaine residue.

We're not kidding. Did you know God's middle name is "Lucky"? And his last name is "Howard"?

Must have been very tricky arresting him being that he is not of this plane and can dematerialize and all.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Yeah, it's Monday

Quit yer crying, Yanks...

Good grief it's pretty quiet in college b-ball land.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Cradle robbers

So coaches are against recuiting 14 year olds... Why not though? If you're old enough to run, you're old enough to commit to Division I basketball! But the most interesting part of the article was the following:

The decision comes a little more than a month after the 15-year-old (Michael) Avery said he would attend Kentucky...

"If the current rules state coaches cannot offer scholarships or accept commitments from students earlier than June 15 following the conclusion of the sophomore year, it certainly makes sense that this should apply to anyone in lower grades," said NABC president Tubby Smith in a written statement released by the association.

That just struck me as bitterness by Tubby, the ex-Kentucky basketball coach.

Off topic - Teen Stabs Boyfriend with Eyeliner Pencil!

Hold still or else I'll cut ya!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Fan support...

Typical: Police arrest 23 people after Celtics win.

BOSTON (Reuters) - Boston police arrested 23 people early on Wednesday after celebrations of the Boston Celtics' first championship win in 22 years briefly turned violent with some fans smashing windows and assaulting police.

Yay! We won! Let's break the law! We love the NBA!

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March To Madness presents... Let the bodies hit the floor

Technically safe for work but not smart for work. You have been warned.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Not in a million years

It will never happen. BUT...

Obama/Gore 08?

Hello President Obama! That ticket would require Ronald Reagan to rise from the dead and join McCain to beat.

Friday, June 13, 2008

You must learn

Take it in, citizen. That's uplifting rap talking to you.

Happy Friday.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Blonde ambition

Lehman board gets tired of gawking at their CFO while ignoring her mistakes.

Lehman Brothers said today it has demoted its chief financial officer, Erin Callan... Ms. Callan, perhaps the most recognizable finance chief on Wall Street, had only assumed the role of CFO in December.

Over the last several quarters, she made misstatements regarding Lehman’s finances that came back to haunt her. For example, on Lehman’s first quarter conference call with investors, Ms. Callan said the company had about $38.7 billion of level 3 assets. When the company filed its quarterly results with regulators, that figure was actually reported as $40.2 billion (emphasis ours).

"She made misstatements and appears to have been given her marching orders," Brad Hintz, former Lehman CFO...

Ford and Elite have expressed interest in Ms. Callan where financial accuracy is not as crucial.

The Enola Gay Sampson

Indiana has virtually no players left now. Seriously. None. Coach Crean is taking applications at the local Bloomington Wal-Mart.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Failed dreams and hot clubs

So UCLA guard Josh Shipp realized that the NBA blows and decided to return to school.

"I am glad I went through this process, " Shipp said in a statement Tuesday. "But at the end of the day, I wanted to come back and make another run for the championship. We've been close three times and a goal of mine is to win the NCAA championship."

Shipp and coach Howland seem to think that they have a powerful core with Collison, Alfred and the aforementioned Shipp. But we don't really think so. Kevin Love is needed to make that run into a reality. Hopefully Love will realize that pro ball is the path to the dark side. If that happens then the Bruins WILL be in the Final Four next year.

Next up, Iowa State guard Lucca Staiger has to go to jail for being up in da club!

Clive police chief Robert Cox said that Staiger tried to gain admittance to Crush, 2249 N.W. 86th Street, shortly after midnight on May 26. Staiger gained admittance with an identification that showed him to be 25 years old. He turns 20 on Saturday.

...when Staiger’s real age was determined later on, a warrant was issued (emphasis ours).

Staiger turned himself in to the Clive police station on June 6, pleaded guilty and paid a $250 fine.

What on earth would make this guy risk arrest, prosecution and fines?!

Oh, ok... Say no more.

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... Sticking it to the man.

NSFW. Very brave women indeed.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

What the fudge?

Hey, we were normal horny teenage boys back in the day. There were a couple of MILF teachers that brought up hours of wasted daydreams about being in the back seats of their Chevy Novas.

But alas, not one peck on the cheek for getting an "A" on that English paper. Not even a sexy glance was thrown our way. We usually ended up the day either Dancing with Ourselves or Turning Japanese.

So why in sam hell are all of a sudden all these teachers fucking their male students like crazy?!?!? A sampling:

Darcie Esson, 32: Parker, Colo., English teacher at Elizabeth High School was arrested in December 2006 for allegedly having sex with a 17-year-old football player the day after her divorce was finalized. According to the arrest affidavit, Esson and the teen had sex on the floor of her hotel room while her two children, ages 4 and 8, and their 17-year-old babysitter slept on beds in the same room.

Margaret De Barraicua, 30: Sacramento, Calif., area woman arrested in February 2005 after police found her having sex with a 16-year-old male student in her car while the woman's toddler was strapped into a seat in the back.

Toni Lynn Woods, 37: Middle-school teacher in Braxton County, W.Va., confessed in 2005 to having sexual intercourse with three juveniles a total of four times and oral sex with one of those juveniles and another juvenile a total of four times. She reportedly described herself as a "monster" when she pleaded guilty.

Monster? Depends on where your morals were shaped I reckon. A lot of sex crazed boys might call you a hero. Or a service.

156 XX chromosome people so far and COUNTING...

Stay classy, ladies

Monday, June 9, 2008

Monday funny...

Friday, June 6, 2008

And so it begins

UNC point guard Ty Lawson isn't even in the bullshit NBA yet but he is doing all the cool things that the NBA players do. Like driving. And drinking. At the same time.

But what is most cool about this is that the director of NBA scouting told Ty and the media it will not affect his status as a 1st round pick come June 26th.

(Scouting Director) Marty Blake said from his office in Alpharetta, Ga., that he projects Lawson as a first-round pick, and his arrest for drinking and then driving won’t affect that.

"It’s not going to make any difference..." Blake said.

Oh. How nice. Well, drink up then.

We'll be back after this commercial break...

Finally, someone asked us are we happy with how the Lakers are doing. We looked at him blankly and inquired what the Lakers were doing. I guess they are in some 7 game final win 4 games or go home championship game...


So Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama had a clandestine meeting yesterday. What was the topic?

A) Hillary could finally admint she has been fantaszing about Barack's cock all campaign.

B) Barack wanted to talk about his plans for reparations once he is president.

C) Both talked about a potential three-way with husband Bill.

D) Barack just wanted to deliver a message that his wife Michelle thinks Hillary really IS a bitch.

Happy Friday.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Now that's drunk!


Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... The Crew Team

NSFW. But we would actually watch this sport more if they did this...

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

How much do you hate stop signs?

Yeah, they slow you down. They might make you late. They might even get you a ticket if you perform the California (aka "rolling") stop in front of a cop.

But would you shot them? Do you have those kind of brass balls to take out your aggression out against them like that?

Well, FSU forward Ryan Reid does.

TALLAHASSEE - Florida State basketball Coach Leonard Hamilton suspended forward Ryan Reid after Tallahassee police on Saturday night cited the junior for shooting a BB gun at a stop sign and at a building near FSU's campus.

According to police, Reid and another individual damaged a stop sign and cracked three windows with shots from a BB gun.

It is simple really. He does not want to stop. He can't be stopped. Even during the off-season. He's the Juggernaut, bitch.

Do you know who he is?

Hip hip hooray! Zona coach Lute Olson is finally rid of his bitch Republican wife, Christine! Just kidding about the bitch Republican part. But if you read the article a certain way, doesn't that sound like what they are implying?

TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) - Arizona basketball coach Lute Olson and his second wife, Christine Olson, have reached a divorce settlement, a court spokesman said Thursday.

In a statement released through a Phoenix spokesman, Christine Olson said she is very saddened to find herself at the end of a chapter in her life.

"I still care deeply for Lute and am at a loss to explain the path that brought us here (emphasis ours)," she said.

Christine Olson is chief executive of an oil and gas drilling company and a Republican national committeewoman from Pennsylvania.

Now what does the fact that she is a GOP committeewoman have to do with anything? Unless that is what drove Lute to flee.

I'm free, to do what I want. Like make this fist! Christine would never let me do that.