Just look at this video (once again crappy video exclusively brought to you by March to Madness). Just look at Dan Shulman's eyes as Dickie V. drones on and on, making stupid asinine references one after another. I counted 3 eye rolls. Can you detect the "shut the fuck up" look?
I knew you could.
Apologies again, work and blogpolling had me tied up...
Please, untie me before they come back. These are some very bad men...
Let's do this -
Proof that Red Bull and vodka will fuck your shit up mentally! Monmouth College basketball player arrested for breakin' and enterin' after all night bender:
(Jesse) Haskett, who admitted to officers he had been drinking Red Bull and Vodka at a local bar, was arrested for criminal trespass to a residence, criminal damage to property and public intoxication.
I wonder what would have happened if Jesse was on that purple drank. Sip!
Did you know that Bobby Knight resigned? You do? Ok.
Guess who's back just in time for the Duke/UNC game. Hip hip hooray. *grumble*
Hate to end on a sad note, but Ohio University-Chillicothe player Jonathan Mason-Davis dies after collapsing during a practice.
Our condolences for the family. RIP.
Good ole Tennessee coach Pearl stopped by the Lady Vols / Arkansas game to do a little live analysis with the play by play man. There might be a few reasons for this...
1) He is testing the waters for an eventual career in broadcasting
2) Being a freshly divorced bachelor he now has more free time
3) Trying out new angle to get in Pat Summitt's pants
But the bottom line was me sitting there thinking "What the fuck did Bruce Pearl just say?" This was all I got from his loud, inaudible play calling:
Dickie V!
Ohhhh, outside and inside!
Highlight!
Shit, you try to figure it out...
(HT: EDSBS and Awful Announcing)
What does the baby rhino have to do with college hoops?
Dickie V is out until February 2008!
Dick Vitale, the voice of college basketball for almost three decades, had vocal cord surgery Tuesday and is expected to be off the air until at least February.
Excuse me for a second...
(HT: EDSBS)
Aaaaahhhhh, ok. Woooooo... *dabs tear of joy from eye*
Next up, Arizona's interim coach Kevin O'Neill to succeed Lute Olson when he croaksretires.
"It's an unbelievable honor to follow Lute Olson," O'Neill said in a statement. "I'm thrilled to get the opportunity and will work to continue the superb tradition of Arizona basketball when Lute is done."
But wait, didn't Coach O'Neill say "This is not my team" last week?! Change of heart, coach?
Eh, whatever.
My preseason choices to make it to San Antonio... a deep and talented Louisville... It has size and experience in center David Padgett. And no one is more equipped to get a great year out of enigmatic Derrick Caracter than Pitino, a master motivator. Talk about Mr. Po (potential). Add point guard Edgar Sosa, and you can see why I am so high on the Louisville Cardinals.
- Dick Vitale in USA Today
Louisville just lost to Dayton, 65 to 70.
And Dayton, you get the This is Sparta!!! award for simply manhandling the Cardinals. We know that score is deceptively close.
A simple token of earth and water...
Arizona's Lute Olson says "Adios, motherfuckers!" to the Wildcats for all of 2007 - 2008...
"I plan to return to coach the University of Arizona next year," (Olson) said. "In the meantime, my heart will be with the team, the coaches and the staff."
No snarky comment, just wondering what the hell is going on?
UPDATE: Lute Olson took a freaking year off from coaching because he is getting a divorce?!?!?!
"There are personal issues within my family that need to be addressed and I must devote my full energy to that," Olson said in the statement.
What the hell is she doing, taking Lute for everything he's got?
In April 2003, Olson married Christine Jack Toretti - a prominent, politically active Pennsylvania businesswoman who is 22 years his junior.
Well, maybe so.... Nothing says love like HALF!!!
(Major HT: Storming The Floor)
Dickie V. can now see into the future...
My preseason choices to make it to San Antonio — site of the Final Four — are Roy Williams' North Carolina Tar Heels, high-flying Memphis, deep and talented Louisville and defensively tough UCLA.
Babeeeeeeeee! And pass the Hooters wings! They're awesome!
Welp, you can now cross out all of those teams from making it to the Sweet 16. We should now start knocking them out of the blogpoll, just for spite. The real funny part is that he picks Louisville, then proceeds to bash the crap out of them.
...This guy (Derrick Caracter) is going to be a superstar or a bust... The only thing that could stop this team is injuries... Juan Palacios is out for four to six weeks.
Oh, he also picks UNC to win it all, so obviously they won't. Sorry Tar Heels fans.
You can file this under the gift that keeps on giving. Greg Oden may cause Ohio State to lose scholarships.
Oden was one of three Buckeyes to leave for the NBA after their freshman seasons, along with Mike Conley Jr. and Daequan Cook, but only Oden withdrew from school after starting spring quarter.
...questions remain over his academic status when he left school.
Translation: He dropped out without completing a single quarter credit to get that big money. Further translation: He wasn't a full time student.
Thanks asshole.
Sincerely,
Thad Matta and tOSU Basketball Team
Finally, did you know that the NCAA has a mascot for men's basketball? Mr. J.J. Jumper.
Seriously!
Happy Friday everyone.
First...
What... The... Fuck... Socks.
Matt Leinert is in the bastard making business. He's even knocking up chicks on the USC women's basketball team! Then promptly leaves to fuck someone else.
Cameron cried when she told her parents and again when she told Leinert ("We both cried," (Brynn Cameron) said)
Dickie V. more loquacious than usual...
During BYU's closer-than-the-final-score-looked 73-63 loss to No. 1 North Carolina a week ago in Las Vegas, ESPN's loud and loquacious color commentator, Dick Vitale, practically turned the broadcast into a two-hour Trent Plaisted infomercial...
Geez, I can just imagine how that went...
Dickie V.: "Ohhhhh, he's amazing! He's incredible! He's stupendous! BYU's Plaisted is soooo talented!"
Mike Patrick: "Yep, he can play."
Dickie V.: "He can play? He can better than play! He's a diaper dandy! A dipsy doer! Ohhhhhh, just look at him glide across that floor! Look at those eyes!"
Mike Patrick: "He does have determination in his eyes."
Dickie V.: "Huh? What? Determi... No, I mean look at those eyes! They're beautiful! And those strong legs! Perfect form, Mike!"
Mike Patrick: "Yes, ummmmm.... Turnover, North Carolina's ball."
Dickie V.: "And Trent Plaisted is turning ME over! He's amazing! He's incredible! He's stupendous!"
Mike Patrick: "Ummmm, you just said that."
Dickie V.: "Ohhhhh, that young man is so mesmerizing! I could suck his cock all day long while he drains threes, and then he can drain his snake on me!"
Mike Patrick: "What did you just say?!?!?!?"
Dickie V.: "What? I was saying what a diaper dandy Trent Plaisted was!"
Mike Patrick: "No you didn't! I... I... Ummm, ladies and gentlemen in our viewing audience I apologize for that outburst, it was unintended."
Studio Producer yelling into Patrick's earbud: "GO TO BREAK NOW! GO TO BREAK NOW!!!"
Detroit Mercy coach Perry Watson thinks Butler should be in the top 10, DAMNIT!
"I don't know of another team in the country that starts five seniors, and they got to the Sweet 16 last year," Watson said Wednesday.
Couldn't agree more...
Someone gave me a question that rocked my very soul and rendered me into a quivering ball in the corner of my room for an hour.
Would I rather -
1) Watch a basketball game being called Bill Raftery AND Dickie V.?
UNC 86, Kentucky 77.
During the game Dickie V. just said 4 times in a row "I wanted to see Ashley, where is Ashley?"
Calm down fucking old man horn dog!
It was amazing how Kentucky was surging before the half and was so close at halftime only to...
Well, they just... You know, this video will explain what happened to the Wildcats better than I can...
Happy Saturday everyone.
