Fast times at USC

Scene:
Florence, South Carolina

Players:
Former Gamecocks b-ball player Carlos Powell
Current Gamecocks forward and cousin of Mr. Powell, Sam Muldrow

On a balmy Saturday night two men are talking next to a Caprice -


Nice!

Powell: "Yo cuz, I need to head across town but I'm so fucked up right now. (takes swig of high end vodka straight from the bottle) I don't want to drive drunk, can you take me?"
Muldrow: "Ummmm, ok but... I only have my learner's permit."
Powell: "That's ok man, the fuzz won't mind. I got my license. I'll be like your instructor, ok?"
Muldrow: "Ummmm, ok..."
Powell: Cool... Lemme grab my gun, this half full bottle of Grey Goose and some of this chronic and let's ride. Make sure to crank that music up too so all eyes will be on us.

(Powell walks around to the passenger side and notices that the taillights are out. Takes another swig and hops in.)

Powell: "Giddy up!"

According to an incident report, a Florence police officer stopped Muldrow and Powell after hearing loud music coming from their car and noticing the taillights were not illuminated on Powell’s Chevrolet Caprice.

Powell, 24, was arrested around 8 p.m. Saturday and released shortly before noon Sunday, according to the sheriff’s department’s Web site.

Muldrow, 19, who was driving on a beginner’s permit, was issued a warning for the defective taillights.

Next up, not as "glamorous" but just as stupid as a directional Missouri player gets suspended for impersonating a dope man.

Lance Sullivan, a (Northwest Missouri State) Bearcats junior point guard, was arrested on Friday on suspicion of distributing a controlled substance to a minor. The charge is a Class B Felony, which carries a punishment of no less than five years and no more than 15 years in jail.

Eazy-E would not be impressed, kiddo.

Your Wednesday Moment of Zen

March to Madness presents... Hey mom, look at me!

Technically safe for work, but you will definitely get some concerned looks from HR.

How to make a Daiquiri

Dear Lord, please let us never have a bartender like this. You know we love to drink. And this is NOT cool.

Nothing to see here

Naw, we're not gonna comment on the O.J. Mayo mess. We've already said enough throughout the season.

*yawn*

Top 10 Most Embarrassing Moments - #1

(Ed. Note: We will be doing a 10 part series, one a day on the 10 "most embarrassing" moments in college basketball. Now "most embarrassing" is subjective and we will admit it is only what's embarrassing to us. Also the time frame for this is since Dr. Naismith, whippersnappers.)

Moment #1 - Coach Dave Bliss tries to create drugs at Baylor

In what has to be the most chilling moment in college basketball, this sad sordid tale deals with a star player's disappearance and subsequent death and a coach's attempt to cover the whole damn thing up by lying. And this was not just some run of the mill lie, no sir. Bliss created the mother of all lies by saying that Patrick Dennehy was killed because he was dealing drugs.

Excuse me, I think I'm gonna throw up...



Bliss has been banned from coaching until 2015, but to us that will be too fucking soon.

Top 10 Most Embarrassing Moments - #2

(Ed. Note: We will be doing a 10 part series, one a day on the 10 "most embarrassing" moments in college basketball. Now "most embarrassing" is subjective and we will admit it is only what's embarrassing to us. Also the time frame for this is since Dr. Naismith, whippersnappers.)

Moment #2 - Larry Eustachy, party animal



Iowa State coach Eustachy's team just lost to the Missouri Tigers. Angry, saddened and despondent Eustachy needed an escape from that bitter defeat. Enter Missouri player Josh Kroenke who thought that what Eustachy needed was to be amongst good people having a good time. Coach Eustachy accepted and wholesome fun was had by all.

Stop. Reality check time.

A 47 year old head coach of a major basketball program left his players after they lost to go drink and party with a bunch of 18 to 21 year olds from the opposing school.

Did we mention he was married at the time too? Oh yes, citizen. So now throw in your wife's embarrassment on top of the school's and kids you represent. Smooth.

Say anything for page views

I don't understand it. Seriously, why are these black athletes unable to stay out of trouble.

So goes the first sentence in this article written by Mr. Jeffrey Klein for the Bleacher Report. He then goes on to say...

Yup, these people can't just play their sport, they have to get in trouble with the law, beating people up with guns, using drugs, and whatnot. These athletes deserve to be punish and all deserve to be banned from the league. These athletes bring it upon themselves and create this issue where it is not going to stop and black athletes are going to continue getting arrested and in trouble with the league.

They are just that stupid, and they continue to bring it on themselves.

Now, we agree that if an athlete breaks the law, he should be punished. No argument there, Mr. Klein.

But what we have a problem with is your use of "these people" and "these black athletes".

The best part is that Mr. Klein wraps up his little missive with this...

And don't call me racist either, I'll be voting for Obama in the election, and I have black friends...

Are you voting for Obama out of guilt for how you feel about Blacks? Now there is a Black man I can relate to, I'm not racist!

Here is our point. We could go on and on about how white athlete after white athlete after white athlete after white athlete after white athlete after white athlete are nothing but thugs who break the law too.

But we won't. We're above that tit-for-tat nonsense. But maybe Mr. Klein might want to rethink his ill-informed argument.