Worse than 2 Girls 1 Cup

The chorus to this song goes: "Zac, I love you. Zac, I wanna rub you. So beautiful and tender. A male, the perfect gender."



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America, fuck yeah!

(Major HT: EDSBS)

Picture Pages IV (with news!)

So, Marquette's Tom Crean is now the Hoosier's head coach. Congrats Tom. You have inherited a team in shambles.

Star guard Eric Gordon? Gone pro. This is 99% likely, folks.

Your glue man, forward DJ White? Graduated.

Your high scoring duo of Armon Bassett and Jamarcus Ellis? Expelled from the team.

And there you go. A team with no talent, inexperienced with zero playing time. Good luck with that, coach.


When asked about if Tom Crean will be successful at Indiana, Coach
Howland used the air quotation sign and said "Sure, very successful..."

And one more time revisiting Davidson's painful loss to Kansas...


Everybody hurts...

Man... Davidson.

The body of Christ compels you

What does Washington State, Oklahoma, North Carolina, Davidson, Stanford, Miami and Western Kentucky all have in common?

They all hate Roman Catholics.

What is intriguing is that in a tournament whose opening rounds featured a large number of upsets, the three biggest upsets were pulled off by Catholic college teams. Villanova, Siena, and San Diego all began their runs by outscoring teams seeded much higher. Of course, Catholic teams were on the losing end of such surprises, as in the case of the early exits of Gonzaga, Georgetown and Notre Dame from their regional brackets.

The article goes on to show their absolute disain for Davidson...

If Villanova somehow slips past Kansas, it doesn’t get much better: They will play the winner of the #3 Wisconsin vs. #10 Davidson (as in Catholic-killer Davidson).

Catholic Online is not a website to be trifled with! They pull no punches on this obvious war against their religion. They do make final predictions on the last two schools (Villanova and Xavier). The recommend prayer and lots of it facing Kansas and West Virginia.

Real life meets blog life

I'm just a man with a dream of enjoying every bit of college basketball possible. Don't expect in-depth analysis or picks. I just do color commentary on the wonderful thing that is the Madness of NCAA Men's Basketball.

The above is from my online profile. Pretty self explanatory. And that is not just my opinion on the internets, it is my opinion IRL. Ask me which college hoops player was arrested recently for what? I got your story. Ask me which b-ball boy was suspended for what and for how long? Got you covered. Ask me which NCAA coach got their ass kicked by a raccoon over the weekend? Check.

Ask me if your team will win that crucial game? Nope. Can't help you. I'm actually 0 for 2 in that department. But it never fails around this time at work I have scores of people coming up to me asking a) how to fill out their bracket, b) will their team make it to the Elite 8, c) does their 16 seed team have a shot against the #1 seed, d) will their team win that bubble game to get in March Madness...


Stop the insanity!!!!

This year I'm telling everyone and their mother to go here for nice and soothing March Madness picks. These wise Oracles will have every answer to your questions, grasshopper. Go there now. You may end up wiser and fatter for it. Now leave me alone. I was in the middle of a triple chocolate sundae.

We hate whiners too

A 27 year old man got tired of hearing an 11 year old complain about losing a basketball game. So he did what all of us would have done. He walked up to her and introduced his knuckles to her face!

The girl and her brothers had been fussing about losing a basketball game when (Johntia Luwonziea) Barnette went into the bathroom and punched her in the mouth, saying he was tired of her running her mouth...

The girl suffered a swollen and split upper lip.

We'll be back with some substantial posts come Blogpoll release tomorrow.

He's got people

Jenn Sterger and John "Cougar" Mellencamp rally to the support of Coach Sampson:

Who is hotter?

Sage Steele or Erin Andrews?

My money is on Sage.

Are you happy?

The Duke / Virginia Tech game was brutal last night. Brutal as in cheap shots, obvious flops and near brawls. I like football and because of that I often say that basketball refs call too many penalties and should let the kids play. Who cares about a lot of the contact that goes on. But that game last night even had me saying...



Memphis coach John Calipari feels that praise is good enough to keep his bench warmers happy being bench warmers.

"Andre Allen may be the best backup point guard in the country right now. Shawn Taggart, if there's a better big man coming off the bench that's 6-11 who can score like Shawn Taggart, I've got to see the guy," Calipari said.

Yeah! And my ex-girlfriend that I dumped after I met the woman I eventually married was a really great gal. She had huge tits and beautiful green eyes that any guy would love. If there is a woman who could make a guy feel like a king like she did, I've got to see that.

Point made. You guys still ride the pine and some of you will jump ship after this season.

And happy Friday y'all. Sorry about the late post.

Friday randoms...

When you gotta go, you gotta go... Former OSU standout JamesOn Curry thinks the world is his toilet.

An officer reported he witnessed Curry, 22, of Buffalo Grove, Ill., urinating in an alley on the west side of the Hampton Inn, according to Boise Police reports.

As the officer approached in his patrol car, Curry looked at the officer and started to walk away, police said. The officer turned his emergency lights on and reported that Curry looked back and then started to run.

...Curry continued to run into the Hampton Inn and tried to get through a locked door when the officer caught up with him and physically stopped him. He was then arrested and booked into the Ada County jail...

Tsk tsk JamesOn. You went from a college hoops star running on the court...



...to a common NBA hoodlum running off the court.



And that is such a SISSY way of getting arrested too.

Big Bubba: Yo man, what you in for?
Curry: Resisting arrest from some punk ass cop!
Bubba: Word? Respect yo. Why the po-po all up in your game?
Curry: Ummm... *cough* peeing on the street *cough*
Bubba: What?! Were you raised by barn animals? Didn't yo mamma teach you manners?! You know what we do to public urinators up here in lockup?
Curry: Talk about their illustrious Oklahoma State careers?

File this under "just sad man": After getting pounded on the court, basketball team gets robbed immediately after game.

After Ridgewater College got their asses handed to them by Minneapolis Community and Technical 60 to 89, they walk back to their locker room to find their belongings gone.

"I’d just come off the floor and we were all feeling pretty low because we’d played so poorly," said head coach Bob Knutson, "and I heard a commotion coming from the locker room. I heard one guy swear I’d never heard swear before."

There were alarming cries: "My money’s gone … my iPod’s gone."

Total value of the items stolen from the half-dozen players and an assistant coach was put unofficially at $1,500.

Sheez...

Finally, O-M-G...

Cleveland State "shocks" No. 12 Butler 56 to 52 to get the "monkey" off their backs.

Cedric Jackson scored 14 points as Cleveland State, a program in disarray for most of the past 20 years, stunned No. 12 Butler 56-52 on Thursday night for the Vikings' first regular-season win over an AP Top 25 team.



Happy Friday, y'all. See ya in Vegas!

Mr. Blackwell called...

Embarrased student begs Miami of Ohio basketball coach to wear a tie to games.

The student had gone up to (head coach Charlie) Coles and placed a tie on him, asking him to wear it... and was then removed from the arena, according to an Ohio University Police Department report.

The student is banned from The Convo(cation Center) until July 1, according to the report.

WOW, that seems harsh man!


Hey, I look fucking good!

Picture pages III

Add your own caption to this picture...

My caption is "Michigan State's season in the making..."

The reason why Rhode Island is better than Vandy...

It is called "scheduling". The Rams made sure to make it count.



Believe that.

Friday random...

I've been drunk before. I've (thank goodness) blacked out in my car thinking I was OK to drive home from a club when in my 20s. Yeah, save your comments, I'm sure Karma has already sent me a bill that I paid in full.

But never EVER have I been this drunk. Not even when drowning my sorrows after yet another SDSU loss where they really had to win (reference Cal and St. Mary's this year).

And I'm assuming this person was drunk. You may have another explanation. I'd like to hear it.



(HT: EDSBS)

UPDATE: The vid title says that the driver was old and he lost his glasses. Don't buy it. If his actions only happened once, then maybe..

Wow, WTF happened?

So I was sitting here ready for a post update and all of a sudden...



Work hit me HARD. I couldn't get up, let alone breathe. Now here I am unable to get back those 9 hours of shit storm punishment.

Onwards...

Iowa Mr. Basketball 2007 decides he hates playing for a suck ass team and bails.

AMES, Iowa -- Iowa State freshman forward Clayton Vette is leaving the Cyclones for personal reasons.

Coach Greg McDermott said Thursday he doesn't anticipate Vette returning to the program.

Don't forget they had another guy leave this year too. Being 4 - 4 kinda blows.


Please, don't leave me!

UPDATE: At least the ineligible German kid will stay.

Alabama pleased as punch that their players graduate.

Alabama coach Mark Gottfried takes great pride in his record -- of graduating players.

"It's easy for some people to forget that these guys are student-athletes," Gottfried said. "That's why they are here, to get their degrees."

Kinda sad when we're rejoicing that the kids finish school, ya know?

Have you ever felt really alone?

It's hard to support your school on the road. Especially when they get shellacked 70 to 51.

PWND!!!11!

Thursday's fluff

First...


What... The... Fuck... Socks.

Matt Leinert is in the bastard making business. He's even knocking up chicks on the USC women's basketball team! Then promptly leaves to fuck someone else.

Cameron cried when she told her parents and again when she told Leinert ("We both cried," (Brynn Cameron) said)



Dickie V. more loquacious than usual...

During BYU's closer-than-the-final-score-looked 73-63 loss to No. 1 North Carolina a week ago in Las Vegas, ESPN's loud and loquacious color commentator, Dick Vitale, practically turned the broadcast into a two-hour Trent Plaisted infomercial...

Geez, I can just imagine how that went...

Dickie V.: "Ohhhhh, he's amazing! He's incredible! He's stupendous! BYU's Plaisted is soooo talented!"
Mike Patrick: "Yep, he can play."
Dickie V.: "He can play? He can better than play! He's a diaper dandy! A dipsy doer! Ohhhhhh, just look at him glide across that floor! Look at those eyes!"
Mike Patrick: "He does have determination in his eyes."
Dickie V.: "Huh? What? Determi... No, I mean look at those eyes! They're beautiful! And those strong legs! Perfect form, Mike!"
Mike Patrick: "Yes, ummmmm.... Turnover, North Carolina's ball."
Dickie V.: "And Trent Plaisted is turning ME over! He's amazing! He's incredible! He's stupendous!"
Mike Patrick: "Ummmm, you just said that."
Dickie V.: "Ohhhhh, that young man is so mesmerizing! I could suck his cock all day long while he drains threes, and then he can drain his snake on me!"
Mike Patrick: "What did you just say?!?!?!?"
Dickie V.: "What? I was saying what a diaper dandy Trent Plaisted was!"
Mike Patrick: "No you didn't! I... I... Ummm, ladies and gentlemen in our viewing audience I apologize for that outburst, it was unintended."
Studio Producer yelling into Patrick's earbud: "GO TO BREAK NOW! GO TO BREAK NOW!!!"

Detroit Mercy coach Perry Watson thinks Butler should be in the top 10, DAMNIT!

"I don't know of another team in the country that starts five seniors, and they got to the Sweet 16 last year," Watson said Wednesday.

Couldn't agree more...

Nothing GRACEful about her

Someone gave me a question that rocked my very soul and rendered me into a quivering ball in the corner of my room for an hour.

Would I rather -

1) Watch a basketball game being called Bill Raftery AND Dickie V.?

or

2) Watch a basketball game being called by Nancy Grace?



*shudder*

Which would YOU choose?


The horror... The horror.

And also apologies. I have been totally MIA this weekend with real world stuff and not the comfortable womb of college hoops. So I have no idea what happened over the weekend. Looks like I'll be box scoring the games to catch up.

UPDATE: Texas A&M and UCLA goes down?! Wow, my blogpoll ballot is going to have a major overhaul. The type of overhaul that makes mechanics salivate.

See Spot run (away from books)

Georgia's basketball team a fucking "slow motion train wreck".

And that was a direct quote from the Student-Athletic Academic Achievement Center director in discussing the situation with UGA's senior associate AD.

The failure of the Bulldogs to keep academics in mind has cost them 5 players in the past two months. Two months!

"I am losing sleep while I stress over these problems..."
- UGA coach Dennis Felton

Apparently the senior associate AD is like 'talk to the hand' with comments like...

"I believe the real problem remains the players' non-compliance with not only your academic expectations, but also those of the Athletic Association."

You don't need a cypher to translate that one...

"Your players don't give a shit about skool."

Even better is that coach Felton had his assistants walking the players to academic appointments! Now that is service!


Hey, as long as you keep on winning big guy...

Maybe Jewish people do not like college hoops

Funny crazy story out of Cleavland about a local TV station being sued because of news room fights, anti-Semitic comments and college basketball.

(former managing editor David) Eden didn't complain about (co-worker Ryan) Minnaugh's anti-Semitic remark until after the two newsmen clashed in the control room before a noon newscast. When Minnaugh proposed airing promotional graphics for the NCAA basketball tournament, Eden pushed him out of the room, slammed the door and wouldn't let Minnaugh back in.

Wow, remind me to keep my fucking mouth shut the next time I get invited to a Seder.


Hey, did you guys see Wisconsin's epic collapse against Duuu...

Get out there and coach! But only if you want to.

Arizona coach Lute Olsen to see if he really wants to coach the Wildcats against Fullerton.

"It was nice to be back," Olson, 73, said through the sports information office after practice. "It was a good practice."

When asked about if he will help his team against the Titans, Olsen said...

"...we'll have to wait and see."

When pleaded with by the media and his team, stating that they are 3 and 2 and desperately needed him back, Olsen shrugged and muttered...

"I don't know."

And we STILL don't know why he bailed on Arizona for three weeks! Must be nice to have a job like that.

(HT: NCAA BB FanHouse)

Hey, did you know that Texas-San Antonio is 3 and 1 so far? Well hell, they were 7 and 22 last year. So lets celebrate!


I'll have what they're having.