A M2M exclusive

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Back in February of this year we wrote an article about Mr. Jesse Haskett, a Monmouth College b-ball senior who got a little crazy after more than a few Red Bulls and vodkas, and found himself in jail after destroying a poor woman's porch. We actually got a chance recently to speak with the lad and hear his side of the story. Here it is reprinted below with our comments in bold parentheses:

Basically what happened was we had a game that Saturday against a team we should have beaten and the loss all but ended our chances at making the conference playoffs (the loss came at the hands of 4-19 Beloit College). Things did not go well for my roommate and I, who was also a member of the team. We got back to the room and started what I would call combative drinking (here's an example of what happens after you do this). We left campus to go to a local bar that we always went to, which has the greatest prices ever by the way. That is where I got into the Red Bull vodkas. I'm not sure how many I had, but the number based on the open tab I left at the bar and what other friends said they bought me is from 8-10 (geez louise, we had just one of those things and spent the rest of the night crouched in a corner screaming COACH KRZYZEWSKI IS THE MESSIAH! REPENT!). I left the bar by myself around 1:15 in the morning. I don't remember leaving, so that is the best guess made by my friends (with friends like those, who needs AA?). I had actually left the bar on my own before and made my way back to campus when I apparently decided I was done drinking. However, this night I was A) Completely hammered beyond any stretch of the imagination; I couldn't have found my ass with both hands and B) Had left my cell phone back in my room. That turned out to be a costly mistake.

I woke up Sunday morning, looked around, and thought "This is jail, I wonder what I did. (hey, we've all been there... just be thankful you were still in the U.S.)" Come to find out, I had basically trashed this lady's porch door and some screens and other crap out there. The cops picked me up at 3:30 am on a January morning. I had wandered around since about 1:15 in the Illinois winter with jeans and a short sleeve button-up on. My best guess as to why I tried getting on this porch was that it must have looked similar to my home and I figured they had locked me out for some reason. The highlight was reading the police report because they put a special line in there about how they had picked me up with no shoes on and then found them on the porch. So at least when I smash your porch, I don't track mud everywhere (nice, very funny). I spent Sunday night in the tank, and my buddies bailed me out Monday after I saw the judge. Legally I'm in the clear now as long as I don't do anymore dumb shit in the next two years. Obviously I've quit the RBV and seriously cut back on the drinking.

So there it is, not my proudest moment, but a good story to tell I suppose. It would have been much funnier though had it happened to someone else.

Thank you Jesse for your side of the story. Peace and blessings and have you tried Rockstar and vodka?