BARISTA #1
Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you today?
(Florida football coach) MEYER
You want to know what Urban Meyer would like? Urban Meyer would like a double-shot grande latte, skim, and a muffin.
BARISTA #1
I'm sorry, I think we may be out of skim milk -- is two-percent OK?
MEYER
I don't know. Is giving you two percent of the price OK?
(Taken from Hey Jenny Slater)
No wasting time with a cute setup, we are barreling in.
First, Illinois guard Jamar Smith loves to drink. Even at the risk of jail and being thrown off the team.
According to Champaign police, officers were dispatched to East Green Street at 2.30 a.m. Friday on a report of criminal damage to a business.
Upon arrival, police said, officers ordered the group, including Smith, to clear the area in order to prevent further altercations. Smith and several other males left the area but continued to return several times. While being warned by the officer a third time, police noticed a strong odor of alcohol coming from Smith. The officer recalled his probationary status ordering him to refrain from the use of alcohol.
Tony Stark would be proud
Second, West Virginia guard Joe Mazzulla and forward Cam Thoroughman feel the same way we do about baseball. The damn sport is so boring you have to imbibe. But we differ in the opinion that once you've got your buzz on you should go ahead and fight with police.
Mazzulla and Thoroughman were detained by off-duty police officers working at the game. The players then were brought to a security station, where the situation escalated. Both failed to provide accurate ages and identities.
Thoroughman reached across a counter at an officer. Additional officers tried to control Thoroughman, who continued to resist and ultimately was subdued with pepper spray.
Mazzulla attempted to pull Thoroughman away from the officers and is said to have tried to punch one before he also was subdued.
And finally, Mississippi State guard Phil Turner seems to not understand the command "come out with your hands up!" after he caused a ruckus at an apartment complex.
Starkville Police records allege the 20-year-old Turner would not comply with an officer's requests to show his hands and had to be forced to have handcuffs put on him. An unsigned narrative of the arrest alleges Turner twice refused to sit on the ground and had to be forced to the ground.
Wow wow wow, a very busy couple of days out there. Try and be cool guys, we have a long way to go before the start of the season.
So what are you guys doing to pass the time during the off season?
Us? We want to smash shit.
Western Kentucky's assistant coach David Boyden was arrested for doing very bad things over the weekend...
According to a Bowling Green Police Department report, Boyden was pulled over at 3:53 a.m. today while being clocked at 73 mph in a 45 mph zone on Russellville Road. After initially refusing to take a sobriety test, Boyden’s blood-alcohol level as tested by Breathalyzer was 0.115. The legal limit for drivers in Kentucky is 0.08.
Along with being charged with DUI, Boyden was also cited for speeding, failure to produce an insurance card and possession of an open alcohol beverage container in a motor vehicle.
Wow! Give that man a cigar! Big Red would be proud.
Wait, wrong big red...
73 mph in a 45 zone while sippin' da booze? You teh winner!
Remember when Baylor was squarely on the bubble for the 2008 NCAA Basketball Tournament?
And this happened...
Hold on peeps, only approximately 3 months away.
...because his daughter is a decent looking liberal?
Meghan McCain is a 23-year-old, socially liberal John Kerry voter who loves Superbad, Dita von Teese, Bud Light (see right hand), and campaign blogging.
Meghan won’t show me her bedroom—it’s too messy, she says. Besides, she’s starving, and she really wants to take me to lunch at one of her favorite restaurants ever, Garduño’s Margarita Factory.
Maybe after 5 margaritas she'll show you her bedroom, Mr. GQ Interviewer.
(HT: EDSBS)
Next up, in the land of college basketball (for women), Oklahoma's Jenna Plumley was arrested for stealing makeup at the Wal-Mart.
She claims it has been tough spending so much money trying to make herself look better than her freakin' 43 year old coach!
The following video is from Ground Control, an alternative karaoke bar in LA (alternative meaning expect to find gothic/industrial songs to sing to along with the mainstream crap yo mamma sings when she is drunk). We were there last night supporting Mrs. March to Madness as she raises money for her charity Children of Chiapas Foundation. If you are an astute reader of this blog you'll be able to pick her out. Or you can just listen for the announcer talking about her when she is up on stage.
San Diego State ex-football coach drunk before games? Really? The heck you say!
Attorneys for San Diego State strength coach David Ohton and the university were in Superior Court yesterday, making arguments to a judge about allegations of excessive drinking in 2002 by former football coach Tom Craft.
"There was only one booster he spoke to and not the few who he had talked about seeing Coach Craft being helped back to the hotel," Cato said. Cato also said Sutton "was not at the Idaho game, but he believed he saw Craft drunk in the lobby before the New Mexico game."
No wonder why we got our ass kicked so much.
What? It was because of the talent level and not what the coach did?
Oh. Ok.
*LOL* ur offensive line has 2 many freshmen!
We're being silly today. Sue us. We're going crazy with no college hoops on.
We just came from a group dinner last night. It was ok. But the usual things happened (someone got stuck paying more, two people's dinners were HOR-RI-BLE, someone had to do the math for the whole table and 3 people just got up and left everyone else).
But still, it was nice. The fish sandwich was pleasant.
We stumbled across this post from the boys at Kissing Suzy Kolber and had to admit, not only fucking funny but true to boot!
You’ll crane your neck to look down the table, seeing the people at the other end engaged in a compelling conversation. Meanwhile, you’re stuck with some asshole who’s talking about the repairs he’s making to his fucking house. I’m 31 now. People my age talk about their fucking houses ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.
"Well, when we moved in, the basement was just a wreck! So we wanted to install carpet and maybe add a sectional. But then the contractor had to rip out all this mold! And you wouldn’t believe how much the plumber wanted to charge to install a half-bathroom! There’s also been a history of flooding down there, you know..."
DIE.
The only thing worse than people talking about their kids, or their jobs, is them talking about their fucking houses. I don’t give a fuck about your house. It’s just another fucking house like every other house. It’s got a bed, a kitchen, a TV, and your stash of child porn hidden in the attic. BOTTLE IT, FUCKO.
Gold we tell ya, pure comic gold.
After a great, relaxing 4th of July weekend we came back refreshed and ready to talk about...
...nothing. There is nothing to talk about in college hoops land. Nada. At least nothing we care to talk about (i.e. we are not recruiting trackers or analysts of any skill).
So we leave you with this. Feeling so cold and alone.
I can't believe this. There is now an over the counter version of the infamous Purple Drank that has killed so many people.
Innovative Beverage Group has taken time and great care to design the first and only anti-energy drink of its kind "Drank". Drank was formulated to be an extreme relaxation beverage that personifies the slow, smooth style of chopped and screwed music put forth by hip-hop giants such as: Mike Watts, Paul Wall, Chamillionaire, Slim Thug, Mike Jones, Johnny Dang, Three 6 Mafia, T.I., Rick Ross, Ludacris and the late D.J. Screw.
"Drank" contains a combination of Valerian Root, Rose Hips, and Melatonin designed to "slow your roll" after a hectic day. A calming beverage, Drank is formulated to relax the body, mind, and soul. "Drank" is the perfect lifestyle beverage for those who can appreciate extreme relaxation. So grab a Drank and "Slow Your Roll"!
Sippin' on some sizzurp indeed...
(HT: EDSBS)
